I think that there are essential elements of each person that would be really hard to change, but I think that to a great extent the axiom "fake it 'til you make it" can work with personality alterations. If you want to be outgoing, fake it 'til you make it. If you want to be confident in yourself, fake it 'til you make it.
There are DEFINITELY decisions that you make about your personality, and you can eliminate certain things (procrastination is what I am working on eliminating. or will be working on eliminating tomorrow ;) ) and emphasize other things.
To me, however, a key thing is choosing to be accept and be happy with who you are. Yes, if there are things you want to change, change them, but in general, accept yourself as "a worthwhile person in the process of becoming an even better person." That element of becoming, of growth, of change, should be part of who you are.
And you and I have talked about this quite a bit, and I'll probably come up with some MUCH more eloquent way of saying this is as soon as I hit "publish," :) but there you have it. :)
Ditto to Margaret. To the table I add that with enough determination or surgery, I suppose anything is possible, but the enviornment and genetics do influence who a person becomes. Without loosing a few limb lengths, I can't become shorter. Without an accepting and kind group of people, I can't be a crazy ultimate frisbee player. Granted, these are poor cases because they're not things I want, but they're the best I could come up with off the top of my head.
Way to post. Did that come off a fortune cookie? If not, you should consider a career as a fortune cookie artisan.
I think that you choose who you want to be, but you can't always choose what others think of you.
I mean, you have some level of control over that, as well. But you just can't please everyone. And some people will decide who they think you are before they have a chance to get to know you.
I think that the person who you really, truly, deep down want to be= the person that you really are inside.
Like Janelle said, though, others' reactions to you do have bearing on what you can become. The ultimate frisby thing is a good example.
Another good example is the influences you choose. If you'd like to be a writer of quality fiction, it would be better to choose Barbara Kingsolver over harlequin novels.
But that's still a choice you make, and the way others think of you doesn't necessarily change who you are inside, and so, ultimately I agree with the above statement.
3 comments:
I would agree, and yet not. :) How's that? :)
I think that there are essential elements of each person that would be really hard to change, but I think that to a great extent the axiom "fake it 'til you make it" can work with personality alterations. If you want to be outgoing, fake it 'til you make it. If you want to be confident in yourself, fake it 'til you make it.
There are DEFINITELY decisions that you make about your personality, and you can eliminate certain things (procrastination is what I am working on eliminating. or will be working on eliminating tomorrow ;) ) and emphasize other things.
To me, however, a key thing is choosing to be accept and be happy with who you are. Yes, if there are things you want to change, change them, but in general, accept yourself as "a worthwhile person in the process of becoming an even better person." That element of becoming, of growth, of change, should be part of who you are.
And you and I have talked about this quite a bit, and I'll probably come up with some MUCH more eloquent way of saying this is as soon as I hit "publish," :) but there you have it. :)
Ditto to Margaret. To the table I add that with enough determination or surgery, I suppose anything is possible, but the enviornment and genetics do influence who a person becomes. Without loosing a few limb lengths, I can't become shorter. Without an accepting and kind group of people, I can't be a crazy ultimate frisbee player. Granted, these are poor cases because they're not things I want, but they're the best I could come up with off the top of my head.
Way to post. Did that come off a fortune cookie? If not, you should consider a career as a fortune cookie artisan.
I think that you choose who you want to be, but you can't always choose what others think of you.
I mean, you have some level of control over that, as well. But you just can't please everyone. And some people will decide who they think you are before they have a chance to get to know you.
I think that the person who you really, truly, deep down want to be= the person that you really are inside.
Like Janelle said, though, others' reactions to you do have bearing on what you can become. The ultimate frisby thing is a good example.
Another good example is the influences you choose. If you'd like to be a writer of quality fiction, it would be better to choose Barbara Kingsolver over harlequin novels.
But that's still a choice you make, and the way others think of you doesn't necessarily change who you are inside, and so, ultimately I agree with the above statement.
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